How to Stop Comparing Your Body to Others: Your Own Path to Better Health

Our mind makes automatic comparisons. It starts comparing before we even know it. Our brains look for ways to know more about the world. It is important to be aware of this human quality: we can determine the way a person is doing this without knowing.

However, are there moments when this automatic behavior becomes a battle of looking at the lives and identity of other women to know our place? That is why we usually compare ourselves with other people using what does not belong to us..

This means that instead of appreciating our own appearance, we forget to accept the beauty of our body and complain about things that are normal in appearance. As a result, we manage to reach a point of self-criticism.

What is challenging about this process is that comparison can happen to anyone. One can compare herself with others because of desire to make herself better, or because by doing so she is improving her self identity.

However, it might turn out that when we become inspired, such inspiration might turn into pressure, and we will feel as if there and the desire to improve can become the feeling that who we are today is simply not enough.

The issue becomes even more complex when we start to overlook the way the female body functions. Factors such as genetic makeup, hormones, needs in terms of nutrition, lifestyle, medical history, stress levels and how accessible health care is, all contribute to our state of health.

Two women can be eating the same healthy foods, leading the same healthy lifestyles but experience different changes in their bodies. So, there can't be any unique image that can define if a woman is fit and healthy.

How to stop comparing your body to others does not mean neglecting the fact of differences, or persuasive efforts to love every part of one’s body, or letting go of any urge for innovation.

It means knowing when comparing loses its significance and starts determining one’s self-esteem, eating behavior and attitude toward one’s health.

At FemGlow Health, I think that a healthy lifestyle is built upon understanding one’s body and its needs, and acquiring healthy habits instead of trying to follow somebody else’s standards.

Why Do We Compare Our Bodies to Others?

In order to figure out how we should not compare ourselves to someone else's body, we first need to understand the reasons behind that need.

Humans are inherently sociable beings, which implies that they always learn from one another by means of observing and experience. The study of social comparison theory has given us much insight into this behavior by studying how a person judges themselves through the comparison of themselves to others with respect to appearance, ability, and experience. 1

Comparison in itself is neutral. Comparison may help you acquire a new skill, get some insight on chances available to you, and understand what others think. However, things can become complicated when you make comparisons that prove to be of little relevance to your own situation.

1. The Mind Looks for Reference Points

Imagine acquiring a new skill but being unaware of what the normal outcome should be, which would probably lead you to look for someone more experienced to learn from them.

This type of intellectual process happens in health and beauty as well. When we see another woman’s body especially on social medias, we can unconsciously use it for comparison with ours. This way, the way she looks may shape our ideas about beauty and health.

Nevertheless, a reference point does not equal a clear benchmark. One woman’s body cannot determine what your own proportions must be, how much food is sufficient for you, and what health goals are suitable for you.

2. Comparison Can Turn Into a Search for Reassurance

At times, comparison can act as a form of answering a question that hovers in the back of one's mind: Am I doing enough?

Comparative behaviors can come in the form of looking for signs that one’s food choices are healthy enough, exercise routines are effective enough, or body changes are happening in the right way.

The problem is that reassurance gained through comparison is short lived. You might feel comfortable with your progress until you encounter someone who appears to be doing better.

All of a sudden, the benchmark has changed and what used to seem like success is no longer so. As a result, instead of forming the understanding of one's own desired realities, you comes to rely on external standards. 2

3. We Often Compare What We Can See, Not What We Need to Know

The appearance is apparent. Though, the nutritional status, blood pressure, quality of sleep, mental well-being, and a lot of other aspects of health cannot be seen. This leads to an information gap.

A well-looking woman may be poorly nourished, and a woman with the bigger physique may practice sustainable eating habits and keep in shape. You cannot judge the issue based solely on the visible aspect of the situation.

Comparing visible results without knowing what is happening behind, you may come to false conclusions based on insufficient data. 3

4. Repeated Comparison Can Change What We Notice About Ourselves

Attention determines what we notice. When you always concentrate on your abdomen, your legs, your skin, or your weight, these features may gain importance for you. You may ignore other features of yourself, as your mind may have been trained to pay more attention to the features you are evaluating.

This process does not mean that the discovered defects have become more serious. It means that the person has become more used to looking for the features they have specified in their mind.

How Body Comparison Can Affect Your Relationship With Health

It does not always stay in the realm of thought either. It may affect our choices with respect to food, movement, rest, and medicine.

• It Can Make Normal Body Differences Feel Like Problems ( Sometimes It Leads To Body Dysmorphia) 4
• It Can Encourage Unnecessary Food Restrictions To Achieving That Body
• It Can Make Healthy Habits Feel Like Punishment
• It Can Distract You From Your Actual Health Needs

How to Stop Comparing Your Body to Others: 12 Practical Steps

It is not about suddenly becoming totally confident in yourself, but about being aware of the habit and knowing how it works so that you can form more positive ways of comparing yourself.

1. Notice the Thought Before You Believe It

When making comparisons, aim to separate an observation from a conclusion. For instance, Observation: A woman has another body shape. Conclusion: I have a wrong body shape.

Though the former statement gives the difference, the latter explains the link between negative evaluation and the difference. Observe the way your mind tends to evaluate everything it sees negatively about yourself.

You do not need to dispute each thought. Simply being aware that a thought you have is not taken automatically as a fact can allow you to consider other possibilities. 5

2. Ask What You Are Actually Trying to Measure

There are times when comparing your body leads to a question that is less superficial.

You may wonder if you are restoring your health, if you are doing the right thing, if you are on the right track.

Ask yourself what you expect your comparison to provide you with. If you worry about nutrition, your photo will not help you discover the answer. If you are concerned with your physical abilities, someone else's body will not work for you

.But if you want to test whether your actions are sustainable or not, the answer is not someone else’s lifestyle. Think about the real issue you want to solve and find the right way to do that.

3. Understand the Difference Between Inspiration and Comparison

Inspiration aids one in discovering new opportunities. Comparison has less value when it makes the observer feel as if their progress is of no value.

A useful question that you could ask yourself in such a situation would be: Does looking at this individual motivate me towards making healthy choices or do I feel inadequate because of it? When the material keeps putting pressure instead of motivation, it’s time to cut it out.

4. Make Your Social Media Feed More Supportive

The abundance of images shared through social media is actually influencing the perception of the body. 6 While you are unable to regulate the type of content you come across, you do have control in your choice of whom to follow.

• Take away subscriptions from the accounts that promote body dissatisfaction.
• Silence the content that promises bad health practices.
• Follow those who motivate healthy eating.
• Select videos that show healthy meals, exercising, and sleeping instead of appearances.
• Become aware of when to stop using your phone.

5. Stop Using Someone Else's Meals as Your Nutrition Guide

It’s important to remember that what works for one woman may not work well for you.

There is the factor of body size, level of physical activity, age, health condition and other physiological conditions which impact an individual’s energy requirements.

On the other hand, there is also the factor of personal preference, culture, money and availability of food. Rather than comparing yourself with others with regard to food choices, try creating plates that satisfy your energy demands and consist of a diverse set of nutrients.

You do not necessarily need to create the beautiful meal as depicted in photos you find on social media.

6. Learn to Recognize Your Own Signs of Progress

If appearance is seen as the yardstick for success, it makes the identification of many significant changes rather challenging. Get an expanded view of your personal progress when asking yourself:

• Am I establishing a more regular diet?
• Am I obtaining the necessary amount of sleep?
• Am I gaining strength and flexibility in normal movements?
• Am I able to handle stress?
• Am I less scared of normal food items?
• Am I obtaining adequate attention for my symptoms?

None of these statements can be considered medically accurate, but they may help in seeing that health extends beyond looks.

7. Allow Your Body to Have Its Own Timeline

Individuals usually gauge their performance without taking into account their starting points and situations. While one lady might be able to detect her increased strength relatively fast, it might take some more time for the other to adjust herself to exercising.

The weight can vary due to the changes in fluid volume, hormonal imbalance, medication, and others. Having different schedules does not always mean that people are doing anything wrong.

It is better to set goals depending on your needs and situation. It is necessary to reevaluate them when required, instead of using other people’s results as your deadline.

8. Stop Treating Every Body Change as a Setback

Your body is not an immutable entity. Fluctuations in weight, hunger, digestion, and fit of clothes may happen due to numerous causes, some of which are normal, whereas others require medical attention.

Before you blame yourself for each and every change that happens to your body, stop and think about what might cause this particular change.

Have there been any changes in your regimen?

Are you going through a new phase of your menstrual period?

Have you taken any new medication?

Do you have any other symptoms that might need medical advice?

9. Challenge the Idea That Smaller Always Means Healthier

You can’t determine someone’s nutritional status, their level of physical fitness or general health based on how large they are.

A smaller body doesn’t mean someone has adequate nutrition and a larger body isn’t necessarily an indication of unhealthy habits.

For example, doctor ask you about your medical history, perform a physical exam, take recommend lab tests if necessary, evaluate your dietary intake and consider other factors to determine whether you’re healthy enough for surgery or another treatment plan.

It doesn’t necessarily imply that your body weight has no medical relevance whatsoever — quite the opposite! But it shows why you need to interpret this number in context instead of taking it as a final verdict about your health.

10. Replace Harsh Self-Talk With More Accurate Language

You don’t need to love all features of your appearances. Talk to you as much fairer than before:

Rather “I’ve ruined my bodies”, try to think “my body’s changed, I can understand its requirement.”

For instance, instead of “I’ll never look like her,” consider: Our bodies and circumstances differ. What’s appropriate for me?

It isn’t about replacing each negative thought with an overly positive one. Rather, it's about reducing judgments that get in the way of self-care.

11. Reduce Habits That Keep Appearance at the Center of Your Attention

Body preoccupation through activities that require weighing, measuring, mirror checking, or comparing pictures may continue for some people. 7 Notice how effective these exercises are and their consequences for you.

If constant body monitoring causes negative emotions, then try to change the frequency of such exercises or use a new method to evaluate yourself. Sometimes there may be legitimate medical reasons why one needs to weigh or measure himself.

Then it will be necessary to consult a doctor who will give appropriate advice. If the process of body monitoring becomes uncontrollable, or one starts to avoid eating and dressing because of appearance issues, then psychological consultation is needed.

12. Learn to Admire Others Without Making Yourself Smaller

The success of anyone is no threat to you. She can be respected for her qualities in her strong character, good looks, intelligence, or dedication without it becoming the basis for judging your inadequacies.

This will take some effort since the tendency to compare is a difficult one to overcome.

However, it is important to remember that it is perfectly possible to admire another’s qualities and recognize one’s own at the same time.

You may understand these ideas and still find yourself comparing your body with another woman's. That is not a contradiction. Habits of thought can persist even after we recognize that they are unhelpful.

But in this case you may need help for how to stop comparing your body to others. If it interferes with your life, consultation with professional is important!

Found this guide helpful? Follow FemGlow Health, share it with another woman, and subscribe for more nutrition tips. Have a question? Drop it in the contact box—I’d love to reply. 💕